I would rather be inspired by these things and use that inspiration to create my own style, than attempt to tick all the boxes and fit myself into one category or another, but where I was deeply involved in a specific subculture for a long period of time, I find it very strange still not to 'belong'. In some ways I found it easier to be a cookie-cutter stereotype, whether it really fits you or not, than to try and figure out who you really are.
Post-Goth, my first move was to fling myself onto the interwebs and try to find another subculture that spoke to me in the same way, and essentially I have been doing variations on this same behaviour ever since. In some ways it has taught me a lot. For example, I spent some time as a dreadheaded faux-hippie-wannabe and I did commit myself fairly whole-heartedly (went vegan, stopped shaving, quit make-up), which, whilst long-term turned out not to be for me, did teach me a lot of things about the way I relate to my body, and how ingrained beauty standards can be.
But I digress.
I'm sure I can't be the only person out there who has difficulty finding how best to express themselves visually through fashion. I thought I would continue minimising my social media use (helps avoid further confusion) and attempt to try to glean some sense of what it is from each of these styles that 'speaks' to me; and in the meantime, if anyone in a similar situation has any tips (or woes!) to share, that would be most helpful - welcome aboard!
My awkward journey through style
|Gothing it up - where it all began!|
|The wannabe-hippie phase.|
The year or so I spent exploring this style/lifestyle did help me in many ways. It gave me a break from fixating on my appearance and I rediscovered meditation, exercise and art; things which I had shoved to the side to focus on maintaining my blog. I had become the worst stereotype - like Jhonen Vasquez's Anne Gwish - 'being herself, as long as it looks good and people are watching.'
|A mori/witchy/faerie/strega-inspired interlude.|
Which brings us to the present day, where I remain confused, overwhelmed, and wishing I didn't make things quite so difficult for myself (overthinking... it's not fun)..................